Phillip Deane

Virgin Sacrificer

He says.....

Philosophy of football;

Like to take the full pitch view of football with a likening to chess – Goalkeeper = King (if caught out game over), Defenders = Rooks/Castles (solid, restrict movement of opposition), Mid-Fielders = Bishops (looking to play the ball out wide), Wingers = Knights (nimble jump around a lot, tricky sorts). And as for strikers, only left over – either pawns or Queens. Need perhaps to do a bit more research and read up on Sun Tzu or Julius Caesar for tactics of structure and passing – and Edward I for castle building.

Other views;

1) football is based on triangles – just hopefully not Koch Snowflakes (would be quite tiring, and based on strange view of 2-D field of play – some say infinite complexity when scale zoomed in – perhaps like playing football with an Impossi-ball for path of ball).

2)Pass-and-Move – John Barnes was a genius. Could also draw on ideas of M.C. Escher to cover the pitch in possible self-repeating triangular patterns, or Angels and Demons. Then again Penrose Triangles are just as fun, or Sierpinski Triangles for possible pass and move structure.

Current Training Regime;

Can’t make Wednesday training sessions as currently living outside London, therefore mid-week training is a trip to the cinema (no, seriously – it’s a 4 mile jog there, and a 4 mile jog back again).

Weekend training, after matches, try to get out clubbing to Slimelight – try to last til 7:30, then get train home – there are only 6 days in a week (as one is missed or missing).

Tai Chi Sword – o.k., not done this for a while but should help with flexibility, more commitment may lead to finishing routine.

The lads say.....

Porcelain skinned Phil is Regents resident Goth (we have to have a token goth for equal opportunities purposes). The now infamous black coat wearing blood sucker has been seen on many a match day, scaring the local hoodlums from the pitch side with threats of demonic possession. Both scary in appearance and attitude, he is sufficient to intimidate the most frightening of ghouls and ghosts, let alone opposing teams. The (sometime) headband wearing, slimelight fan, is a versatile enough odd-ball to play as an orthodox full-back or as a marauding wing-back, charging up and down the line like the Headless Horseman (only more scary).

The un-nerving sight of this ghostly apparition winging its way around the pitch with glinting fangs on show, has often caused the opposition to vacate their bowels, the result of which is usually put down to dog walkers and their dump anywhere German Shepherds. With a touch as sweet as a virgins kiss (not that many virgins he has met live that long… they’re usually part of some ritual sacrifice) he truly is an asset worth humouring, mainly cos he’s in with the man upstairs too