Robin Weston

Striker....when hamstrings allow

He says.....

Being a boyhood Tillburg fan it was a dream come true to finally pull on the famous blue, white and red kit. I remember my dad took me to my first game and as we stood on the halfway line I was hooked, the passing and movement of the midfield, the defensive assuredness of an Italian style defence and the probing runs of the forwards - it was how football was supposed to be, sadly it turned out we were facing the wrong way and not actually watching the Tillburg game. The next 90 minutes of middle aged mud wrestling were the longest of my life, the only respite was watching the Aiden Bell school of Aquatic Sports' dramatic triple lutz with pike - exemplary.

Now that I am a Tillburg player I hope I can emulate the great number 9's before me - I feel I have a lot to prove. The obligatory dodgy barnet is being grown and will shortly be long enough to be sheathed by a poncy striker's alice band. The over use of deep heat and tiger balm are something worked on in training with Tillburg Legend O'Boyle that is beginning to pay off in the treatment room. It's only matter of time before I start whingeing at the rest of the team and my agent starts suggesting interest from top European clubs in a bid to gain a new contract - although the rumours of 'tapping up' by stonewall are totally unfounded.

Robin says

Recent Super Goals player profile read as follows:

Favourite Player: Myself - ( "a true striker believes he is the best player in the team" The Book Of Krmadjian Chp 6 Pg12)

Most Feared Opponent: Rob Garfield - sometimes evil rob turns up at training and I fear for my shins.

Best Moment: scoring two in 20 minutes on my debut - I should have retired at half time, it's only got worse since then.

Favourite drink: Newcastle brown or mcewans export - basically anything high strength that can be bought at 7.30am from an off licence near king's cross.

Aims for 05/06 season: To purchase 2 new hamstrings on the black market and have them implanted in time for the new year. If I am being greedy (chapters 4,5,6,10,15,16,19,20,21,22 and 37 The Book Of Krmadjian) then I would also like something I have heard about called pace.

The lads say.....

Thwack, Kapowww, Whappp......All noises associated with the 60’s TV classic Batman. Also, however, noises associated with the ball hitting the back of the net, something one of our other FCTR strikers is completely unfamiliar with. Robin is the new and improved Damian. He is sensible in height, un-grandad-like in dress sense and capable in goalscoring. All attributes that Mr O’Boyle sadly lacks in abundance.

In his first season for the mighty Regents, Robin has set the benchmark by scoring willy-nilly. He can sometimes even be heard to say ‘I’m embarrassed to have scored that goal’ after netting. Again, un-O’Boyle like who can generally be seen sobbing into his hands after spooning another gilt-edged chance high and wide.

A real find for FCTR, let’s hope he continues scoring and avoids injury because to be frank, he’s the best we’ve got and the alternatives bring a tear to my eye, and a clench to my buttocks.